For the last 7 months I’ve on average done a wee every 30 minutes night and day.

I need to drink 3 litres every day to help protect my kidneys so sometimes if I’ve forgotten to drink enough I guzzle a load down and then wee every 8 – 10 minutes for a few hours.

There’s a constant pressure to drink plenty and a constant little voice urging me not to as I can get nearly an hour between wees if I’m dehydrated – that’s great apart from the stress of worrying about my kidneys!

It’s not much fun – especially night time getting up 20+ times.

In addition, after my exploratory operation to see what is going on in my bladder which was carried out via my Gentleman’s Sausage, I was weeing blood, napalm and razor blades.

The results of that op, the biopsy, were as follows:

Final Diagnosis Bladder biopsy : Inflammatory exudate and granulation tissue with bizarre atypical cells present probably representing stromal reaction. No malignancy. 

The latter being hugely important of course but I’m not entirely sure what the former means until I see the Doc on Tuesday 24th to ‘discuss options.’

In my head options vary from do nothing and wait it out for up to a year to improve, operate via my ‘sausage’ to cut out the excess tissue, possibly remove my bladder and have a stoma bag instead.?

For the time being and after recommendations from a number of people I decided to try these bad boys:

I experimented with one on in the shower – it did not go well. Pissed down my leg and stood in there crying for 15 minutes from frustration and fear.

It’s all getting properly on top at the moment and the countdown to seeing the bladder Doc is as positive as it is negative.

I also get my weekly visit the same day to have my chest line flushed and the dressing changed – having the line surgically removed is in the offing and at present I’ll be glad to see the back of it – it’s been in my chest and main heart artery for 11 months now. Taking it out will allow me to have a proper shower at long last and be more physically active.









Lastly I plan to see the same Counsellor, Sue,  I’ve seen before as she already knows me and not least is amazing. I’m very aware that perhaps oddly I feel the need for professional help more now than any time before. I think this is the beginning of the PTSD that is so prevalent for people yet often overlooked as ‘you look so much better’.

This last year has been very very painful for me and those close around me, same as so many with ‘tough stuff’ to deal with.

Enough now – I’m off for a wee!!!


Challenges, Ian's Blog

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